Farmer James and his wife were working in the field one day about dusk. As they were heading back to the house they saw a bunch of strange lights way out in the field. Upon ariving Farmer James and his wife saw a spaceship landing. They were approached by two aliens. The aliens said they were researching human sex life and wanted to know if they could partner switch. After talking it over Farmer James and his wife agreed. The next morning the aliens left. Farmer James was dying to ask his wife what happened. Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and broke down and asked her. Well what happened? She replied, It was the best sex I ever had! Why? asked Farmer James. Well when he took off his pants it wasn'r but an inch long and as big around as my pinky, but then he reached up and turned his left ear and it grew as to 16 inches, then he turned his right ear and it got as big around as a sausage. Farmer James said, Well shit, no wonder that bitch was trying to rip my ears off!!



The year is 2345, and Steve and Sylvia have just landed on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles for the trip. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Steve asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Sylvia brings up the subject of sex. "So tell me, just how do you guys do it?" asks Sylvia. "Pretty much the same way you do," responds the Martian. The discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. Sylvia and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny,weeny johnson, about half an inch long, and just a quarter of an inch thick. "I don't think this is going to work," says Sylvia. "Why not?" he asks, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replies, "I'm afraid it's just not long enough to reach me." "No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with the palm of his hand. With each slap on his forehead, his johnson grows until it becomes quite impressively long. "Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow ..." "No problem," he says, and starts pulling on his ears. With each pull, his johnson grows wider and wider, until the entire measurement of his johnson is extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and they each go their own separate ways. As they walk along, Steve asks, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," says Sylvia, "but it was pretty wonderful. How about you?" "It was horrible!" he replies. "All I got was a headache -- she just kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears the whole time!"



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