A really good-looking girl was giving a man a manicure in the barber shop."How about a date when you finish work?" he asked."I can't" she replied, "I'm married.""So call up you husband and tell him you're going to visit a sick girlfriend," said the man."Why don't you tell him yourself" said the girl, "he's the one shaving you."
The maid picked up the phone, mumbled something and slammed it down. The lady of the house, who was expecting a call from a far off relative, asked "Who was it, Mary?"The maid replied, "Some mad man named Mr. Wilson. He was saying it's a long distance from California. I told him I knew that!"
This man was sitting having a drink in a bar. He was a huge man, 6ft 6 and built like a rugby player. Then, a small old woman with a green face taps him on the shoulder. "I'm a leprachaun. I can grant you three wishes." Amazed, the man says "Well, I'd like to have lots of money." The leprachaun clicks her fingers. "There, when you go to your car your boot will be filled with money. What's your second wish?" "Well, I'd like a big, massive house." The leprachaun clicks her fingers. "There, just up the road. The keys will be on the seat in your car. And your third wish?" "Ehm, well I guess I'd like someone to share it all with." The leprachaun nods her head, and again clicks her fingers. "There you are, a beautiful blond haired girl with big boobs will be waiting in your new house for you."
The man gets up to leave, and the leprachaun stops him. "Eh, eh, hang on a minute. What do I get out of it?" The man looks puzzled. "Well, I, I dunno, what do you want?"The leprachaun says "Well, I want a bit of romance. It's been a long time." The man has a shocked look upon his face. "I'm sorry I can't give you that." The leprachaun says "Fine, then you don't get your three wishes." The man, desperate for his wishes, says "Well, what exactly do you want?" "Well, I'd like a big sloppy wet kiss, and a bit of slap and tickle." The man reluctantly agrees "OK, well come over here in the dark." After giving the leprachaun a sloppy wet kiss, the man asks if he can go. The leprachaun says "what about the slap and tickle?" And again, the man reluctantly gives her the slap and tickle.
"By I enjoyed that" says the leprachaun. "How old are you?" she asks. "34" the man replies. "And you still believe in leprachauns!!!!"