A man requested a blonde painter to paint him in the nude. "No," the talented blonde artist said. "I don't do that sort of thing." "I'll increase your fee two times," he said. "No, no thanks!!" she replies. "I'll give five times as much as you normally get!" the man states. "Okay," said the blonde artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch." The painting was of three very naked and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked. "Well, yes", said the one woman. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?" "Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor."
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."