A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements
of his wife.
The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video
of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down
together to watch it.
Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw
his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park.
He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe.
He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub.
He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities
with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe?
It's right up there on the screen!"
The husband replied, "I can't believe that my
wife could be so much fun!"
"The reason a dog has so many
friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." -Anonymous
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence
that you are wonderful." - Ann Landers
"If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went."
- Will Rogers
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams
"A dog is the only
thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." - Josh Billings
"The average dog is a nicer person than the
average person." - Andy Rooney
"We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return,
dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made." - M. Facklam
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it
is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber
"A dog teaches a boy
fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." - Robert Benchley
"I wonder if other dogs think
poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner
"Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast
of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late breaking dog news items, which, if they
are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard." - Dave Barry
"And nobody who doesn't know what soap tastes
like never washed a dog."- Franklin P. Jones
"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise." - Unknown
of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx
"Ever consider what
they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a
cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" - Anne Tyler
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men
and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein