In a Moscow hotel Brochure: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and
writers are buried daily except Thursday. In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
A traveller pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork,
the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into
the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. "Fancy meeting my wife here," he says to the clerk. "Guess
I'll need a double room for the night." Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000.
"What's the meaning of this?" he yells at the clerk. "I've only been here one night!" "Yes," says the clerk, "but your wife
has been here for three weeks."
There was a little old lady from a small town in America who had to go to Texas. She was amazed at the size of her hotel
and her suite. She went into the huge cafe and said to the waitress, who took her order for a cup of coffee, that she had
never before seen anything as big as the hotel or her suite. "Everything's big in Texas ma'am," said the waitress. The coffee
came in the biggest cup the old lady had ever seen. "I told you, ma'am, that everything is big in Texas," said the waitress.
On her way back to her suite, the old lady got lost in the vast corridors. She opened the door of a darkened room and fell
into an enormous swimming pool. "Please!" she screamed. "Don't flush it!"